The purpose of most communication isn’t to completely explain yourself. Too often, we get stuck relieving tension, making our case and closing the door on the discussion.
The purpose is to open the door to interaction, learning and action. “Who’s there?” is a fine response to hope for.
Communication is a process, not an event.
This is a trap worth avoiding.
When we examine our life experiences, the ones that stand out are usually about change. Either we were changed or we helped someone else get to where they sought to go.
And change is fleeting. And change changes us. We can’t step in the same river twice, because the second time, the river itself has changed.
The pressure we put on ourselves for every project to be “the best ever” experience creates a shallow race for bling instead of a deeper, more useful focus on what’s actually possible.
Seeking to rank our experiences takes us out of the moment. It turns us into sportscasters, spectators and statisticians. We end up comparing our wedding or our box office numbers or our tweet stats not only to our own best ever, but to the stats of others.
Most of our interactions fall into one of these categories.
Our strategy for the game involves doing something to the other team.
Many service businesses are aligned around the idea of doing things for their patients or customers.
And long-term mutually beneficial relationships are built around with.
Trouble happens when one party expects a different relationship than the other one might.
There are two kinds of skills, resources and tools:
Ones that get used up as you use them.
And ones that get better when you do